Can’t we just agree to disagree?

No! That’s the resounding answer I tend to get from friends, family (oh man do I get it from the family), newscasters, religious leaders, Muslims, Jews, Christians, Hindu’s, Scientologists, sports fans, etc. We can’t both have an opinion that’s valid. I’m right and you’re wrong! Bill O’Reilly thinks so. Keith Olberman thinks so. Sean Hannity thinks so. Pat Robertson thinks so. Mugabe thinks so. Al-Sadr thinks so. Kim Jong-il thinks so. Red Sox fans, Yankees fans, Red State / Blue State people, Obama, Clinton, McCain – they all think so. They’re right and if you don’t agree you’re wrong. There is no dialogue – just debate.

In America, at some point during this century, we went from being able to have healthy dialogues to having debates. People feel the need to have to prove themselves right, many times by beating someone down. If I hear someone’s opinion it’s not just good enough for me to understand it, I have to agree with them. If I don’t agree I’m not intelligent. Or I’m close minded. Or I’m uninformed. Maybe they turn up the decibel levels of the conversation. Maybe they get emotional with me. Maybe they decide to talk about me behind my back. When did this happen? Why can’t opinions be different and both be correct? They are opinions after all.

I started this blog as a way to get dialogue going about my brother the Atheists book. Some of the anecdotal feedback has been good: “thanks for letting me know about your brother the Atheists book”; “interesting questions your brother the Atheist is raising”; “good insight into the wackiness that is organized religion – thanks for posting it”. However some has been confusing: “Why are you so angry about your brother the Atheists book?”; “why is your brother the Atheist so angry with your blog?”; “why can’t you see that’s he’s right and you’re wrong?”

Lets get this down in print right now – I’m not angry about the book! I’m not angry with my brother the Atheist! Heck – I want him to sell a million copies, write another book, sell another million copies, get on Oprah and decide to share some of the wealth with me (if he doesn’t share the wealth I’ll be forced to tell all of those embarrassing stories related to bed wetting, fear of spiders, experimentation with cross dressing, etc…. whoops, maybe I just did!). He and I are great friends – at least from my point of view. We travel together, our wives are close friends, we do business together, we make each other laugh, we talk regularly. I don’t think our relationship has changed at all over the past several months/years. The book was not a surprise to me, nor was it a surprise that my brother is an Atheist. He and I have talked about this since we were teens. And for all of my close minded readers, I’m not going to have an issue with his beliefs – sorry. It’s his decision to believe what he wants to. It’s a well informed decision.

Now, hopefully everyone is on the same page here. It’s ok to be different, to like different things, to believe differently. Here are some of the things I believe:

I believe in global warming (sorry Dad) and that it’s our responsibility to help the planet. I believe that Obama would make a better president than either McCain or Clinton. I think Rush, O’Reilly, Hannity, etc are all full of crap and tend to lie or embellish to get their points across. The same goes for Al Franken who’s the same as Rush only left leaning. I think Pat Robertson and Dr. Dobson should retire before they open their mouths the next time. I don’t believe there’s any news agency that’s not biased, and therefore everyone should watch / read multiple sources (not all conservative or all liberal) to get a true picture of what’s going on out there. I disagree with the war in Iraq. I don’t think we should have gone to war in Vietnam. I think ice cream is disgusting. New born puppies smell nicer than new born babies. U2 and REM are the greatest bands of this and most other generations. Dave Mathews Band is overrated. Tequila is the greatest drink invented, next to a Flaming Moe. Baseball on TV sucks. The NCAA tournament is the greatest sporting event in the world. Popeye’s fried chicken is proof of a god. Jack Nicholson, Robert De Niro, and Al Pacino are mailing it in during the late stages of their careers. The Office is currently the best show on TV. Reality TV sucks (all of it) and dumbs’ down all of us. The electric car was a great idea killed by big auto and the government. Frank Caliendo is not funny. The band of gold in the song is a wedding ring.

If you don’t agree with my opinion, ok. Tell me why. Post a comment. I won’t get mad. I might not agree with you… and that’s OK. So what? It’s just my opinion, right?

Does this work both ways?

In my brother the Atheist's introduction and throughout his book he talks about his negative perception of Christians spreading the word of God... why do they do this? Why don't they leave us all alone? Who cares about God? Please don't pray in public or say grace over dinner in a public place! Don't trash my beliefs - just leave me alone! It goes on and on. Yet in the introduction he's fast to say he's not trying to convert anyone away from their belief system, just to explain his own. But then he says "Of course, part of explaining my beliefs is to tell you why I think you're wrong and why I think your religion is false and deceitful". Hmmm... seems like he's using the same techniques he's opposed to to drive his own beliefs into the readers mind. I mean why is it OK for someone to use this technique and not for someone else to use the same technique? Hypocrisy is a strong word - so maybe it's not that. Maybe he's not aware that he's basically doing the same things in this book that he despises Christians for doing? I see that a lot these days from politicians, "news media", left/right leaning people, etc. More and more are angry and mean spirited in their disagreements. Something happened in the 90's where people stopped disagreeing and instead decided to belittle each other when they didn't land on the same page. It's amazing how many news shows (Fox News, MSNBC, CNN) trash other shows for something and then do the same exact thing. Have you ever watched O'Reilly and Olberman? These guys are the same - except one is left leaning and one is right leaning. But both spout gunt across the airwaves.

And yes, I used the word Christians previously because after reading through the book I really think the issues discussed are all related to Christians and not other faiths. I don't see much commentary on Scientology, Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, etc... not even much commentary on Judaism. It's pretty slanted as a negative discussion about Christians. I've got to dig deeper into this, but the main point I'm getting from the introduction is that Christianity is made up, my brother the Atheist is mad that anyone would believe in Christianity, and therefore he's going to spend the next 200 pages making light of people's beliefs while sharing his own, and pointing to several examples of Christians who have gone out of their way to misrepresent the truth OR have upset him with their methods. I have to reread the book to get a better grip on some of the points, but this is my initial view. Of course, after you read the book feel free to tell me if I'm off base.